Category: Parenting on Purpose

Parenting On Purpose: The Moore Family Name

bette / / Parenting on Purpose

I began writing this essay in September 1997 just after my first nephew, Tanner, was born.  The first draft was written when I realized that for the first time I was in the “grandparent generation”!! After that initial shock, I began to dig deeper into the generations of our family and, with the help of my Uncle Ernie Boehr, revised it to include the direct line of “Moore Men” back to John Moore who was born in Glasgow, Scotland in 1648!

Parenting on Purpose-The Moore Family Name

Notes on the Moore Family

I’m posting these two documents on Meanderings right now so I can include a link to the memorial book I’m creating in MS Publisher for my brother – who at one time was our only direct link to John Moore.  He passed away on Feb. 15, 2022 – but left three sons and three grandsons, so the Moore Family Name is once again in good hands!

Can we talk?

bette / / Parenting on Purpose, Politics

My father died in 1992 at the age of 71. He was a wonderful Christian, husband, and father . . .  in that order.  To the best of his ability he tried to understand the teachings of Jesus and to live his life accordingly.

I was my father’s greatest disappointment.

 

It’s not that I’m not a Christian – I am.  It’s just that as a little child I had questions that I knew I wasn’t suppose to ask.  So I didn’t.  On the rare occasion that I was able to muster the courage to ask, I was usually told that some things we had to “take on faith” . . .  or that those answers are in God’s hands. Some of those same questions resulted in my leaving Evangelical Christianity in 1982.

As a result, when my father died – when I was 47 years old – my questions remained unanswered . . . because I had never asked.

 

After he died I did, however, make a list. I called that list “Conversations with my dad.”  It’s basically just a list of questions and the imaginary conversations I wish we could have had.

 

I revisited that list today.  It’s actually not all that long – but the questions have still not been answered. Even though I am close to many Evangelical Christians, I still don’t feel like I can ask them.

 

My father called himself a “Fundamental, Evangelical Christian.”  I’m not sure when Evangelicals stopped describing themselves that way, but my guess is it was when the results of Muslim Fundamentalism became obvious on September 11, 2001.   Even so, every Evangelical church insists that the entire Bible MUST be interpreted literally.

I won’t even begin to go into what that must continue to do to little children who, like me, have questions. I don’t think they are any longer given lists of acceptable questions and made to memorize Bible verses out of context as the acceptable answers. My guess is that, like me, they just know what they can talk about and what they can’t.

 

The reason I started writing this post is because I just finished listening to the House of Representatives debate whether or not to impeach Donald Trump.  They voted yes … and now history is going to unfold around that decision. As I listened, I felt like the two “sides” were living on two different planets rather than just on two different sides of an aisle.

 

Almost 20 years after his death I have come to understand my father. His convictions served him well during his lifetime, and his legacy has lived on in the hundreds – if not thousands – of people who benefited from his Christ-like example.  He followed Jesus – and even left a church he loved over an issue that was never explained to me, but that involved the dismissal of a choir director.

My father believed that God = Love.  Where there is Love there is God. I truly believe that my dad would be heart-broken today.

 

I saw a very large, yellow sign proclaiming “JESUS SAVES” in the front of the mob that overran the Capitol of the United States one week ago today.

I don’t understand.

 

I have started a new list:  “Conversations I hope to have with my Evangelical family an/or friends.”

 

Is that possible?

Can we talk?

 

 

Leadership 2020 (revised)

bette / / Growing Leaders, Parenting on Purpose, Politics

In1997 when I began thinking about how we were educating leaders for our future, I was hopeful, even expectant, that the advances being made in neuroscience and emotional intelligence would transform the system by the year 2020.  We’re now almost there, and I’ve had to realize that when the focus changed from educating the Whole Child to raising test scores, we were no longer headed in the right direction.

Last night I heard the students of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida singing a song that they wrote, arranged, and memorized to present to an audience of thousands, if not millions, in one week.

 

How long does transformation take?  In 2001 I believed that it could happen in 20 years.  Last night I realized that when we follow the children, it can take just  moments ….

 

My first website is frozen in 2004 because I never learned how to update it myself:  Leadership 2020: Specializing in Creating Learning Environments for our Future Leaders

Technology, however, has now advanced to the point that I will never have to learn the complicated program that a Webmaster used to create it!  In my post on Dec. 3, 2016 I wrote that the only thing I would change would be the date on the question “Have you ever wondered who our leaders will be in the year 2020?”  I would have changed it to “2040” because I thought that we’d need another 20 years to make that change.  Last night I realized that our children are going to force us to do that a lot faster ….

 

 

 

 

Reflections on Voices and Values – June 4, 1999

bette / / Growing Leaders, Parenting on Purpose, PORTFOLIO

Even though I wrote “Breakfast at McDonald’s:Reflections on Voices and Values” in 1999, I still remember the thoughts that were running through my mind that day like it was yesterday.  I don’t think I ever shared it with anyone except Molly’s mother because I felt like it was too negative, too pessimistic.  I felt that I was being too critical

As I read it now I realize that the situation has become exponentially worse in the past 16 years. Children learn from the experiences and the models we provide for them. I shudder as I think about our candidates for the President of the United States as their role models.  What kind of leaders can we expect them to become?  How can we fault them for disrespectful language and behavior when that’s what they see every night on the news?

I also wonder about the young people who are being “radicalized” by ISIS.  Has anyone stopped to think about where they were, or what they were doing in 1999 when Molly was so disappointed because the Beanie Babies at McDonald’s had all been gobbled up by toy collectors?  At least Molly was surrounded by a family and friends who cared about her and made her feel like she was an important part of her community. She was not one of the “Invisible Kids” who turn to violence to be noticed – or to feel like they belong.  What kind of role models did they have when they were 10 years old?

Why are we surprised that when we model greed and violence that we get greed and violence?

 

All I really have are questions … but as I read where my mind was the day I wrote this, the more concerned about what our children are seeing and hearing these days   . . .

 

Breakfast at McDonald’s: Reflections on Voices and Values

 

NOTE: These links in the footnotes don’t work in the PDF:

“Joe Camel”

Bye Bye Birdie

Violent Video Games

 

A Poem for Olivia – Jan. 29, 2014

bette / / Parenting on Purpose, Pillar of Fire, PORTFOLIO

I wrote this poem the day after my daughter called to tell us that she was pregnant.  On January 28, 2014 and we were in our RV at Lake Cahuilla in La Quinta, California.  The news came as a shock for many reasons, and I’m afraid that my tone on the phone was not one of delight.  I think Shannon understood and gave me the time I needed to adjust to the unexpected situation.

 

I don’t consider myself a poet, but the attached story explains why I wrote this one.  I have revised the poem twice.  The first time was when Shannon and Jeff decided to name their daughter Olivia.   The second revision was made a couple of weeks after Olivia was born when I realized that the hope I had felt the morning I wrote it had turned to pure joy.

 

CLICK HERE:

For Olivia (Story and Poem)

For Olivia

Comments on For Olivia

EMOTIONAL LADDER

 

Parenting on Purpose – March 1998

bette / / Parenting on Purpose, PORTFOLIO

I wrote this piece during Spring Break in 1998 just after meeting my first nephew, Tanner.  Tanner was 6 months old.  Less than a month ago, on May 27, 2016, I got to watch Tanner giving the Salutatorian address at Oakmont High School in Roseville, CA.  He’s off to Cal Tech in the fall … and who knows after that?

The last time I was at a service in the Quad at Oakmont High was in 1993 at the Celebration of Life for Tanner’s mom, Ginger.  It was a pretty amazing experience for me to watch Tanner speaking from the very same podium where Larry Leatherman spoke about the sort of person and mother that Ginger had been.  I know that she was there in spirit, loving every minute of it …

 

Parenting on Purpose – Tanner Moore

Notes on the Moore Family

 

TANNER’S SPEECH (5 minutes)

 

Focus on the Children – December 1998

bette / / Growing Leaders, Parenting on Purpose

Jesus says nothing about focusing on the family.  In fact, he said quite the opposite.  A quick Google search for the question “What did Jesus say about family?” led me to pages and pages of sites that try to dispel the literal interpretation of Luke 14:22-27 where He says we must “hate” our family to be His disciple. Mostly they explain His words away by saying they must be taken within the context of the time and place.

I most definitely agree with that.  I don’t think Jesus ever meant us to hate anyone – particularly not our family. But I also believe that He never meant for that to be our focus.  He did, however, talk a lot about children … and it could certainly be argued that our focus should be on them.

 

When I hear people talking about the abuses they suffered in their homes as children, I become very angry. Sometimes I feel like I should step in when I hear how someone is talking to her own child in a supermarket.  It’s even hard for me to go into elementary classrooms these days and watch the faces of many of the children who are absolutely overwhelmed by the amount of information they are supposed to process and to regurgitate by filling in little bubbles in test booklets.

 

I think that these “random thoughts” bubbled up today because I’ve been thinking about my own childhood and how it has influenced me as a parent and as a teacher.  As I thought about what I wanted to write, I realized that I already wrote it in 1998:

Are You Listening