When I started playing around with this blog in 2009 it seemed to me like it would be an easy way to keep my writing fresh and ideas flowing.
It seems to me like it’s exactly the same thing that happens to children in class when we assign them a topic and give them a date by which we expect them to have written something. Some of them, of course, have us and the system all figured out and we love them. We call them the “good students.” They know they can do it . . . they have all the right words . . . and they make us feel successful. I call them the “Round Pegs.” They fit.
But there are always the others. . . . the “Square Pegs” . . . the ones who we may love . . . but who simply don’t “fit.” They question us. Some don’t even seem to want to fit. And they are the ones I feel like right now. I feel stuck.
When I was in school I never felt stuck. In fact, since my family moved around so much and I found myself the “new kid in class” so often . . . I learned to make very sure that I knew how to “fit in” – regardless of how I may have really been feeling. What I knew for sure was that it was my job to please the teacher so I could bring home the kind of grades my parents expected. That all came very easily. I never felt stuck . . . I knew what to do and I did it. It’s pretty interesting when I run across my old school papers and see the sort of comments that my teachers wrote on my report cards. I was really successful at fitting in . . . but my writing was terrible. Well, maybe not terrible . . . but certainly not interesting.
So . . . I’m not surprised that I feel stuck today. There are lots of reasons for that which don’t really matter all that much I suppose. I have read recently that the way to become “unstuck” is to simply be still. So today I’m going to do just that. I’m just going to stop “meandering” for a little while and look around. Notice. Think. Stop thinking. Write. Stop writing. Be.
And maybe come back to the page tomorrow and see if I feel a little less stuck.
Or not. :-)!